Make a Hanukkah card in Mama's voice
One question first, because it changes everything: who is getting this card?
Mom's Annual Review
The cards above come from Mom. This one goes to Mom. Download it, print it, and hand it over at dinner - unchecked, so she can grade your year in her own hand. No printer? Send it ahead and let her prepare her comments.
Rosh Hashanah 5787
Mom's Annual Review
One page, once a year. Check what's true, fill in the blanks, hand it back.
- Did they call this year, or text 'luv u mom' and consider the matter closed?
- Of those, how many were actual phone calls?
- Did they return the Tupperware? All of it. Including the blue lid. It's been three years.
- The jacket I said to bring - did it come, or did it 'stay in the car'?
- Did they say 'You were right, Ma' out loud? The eye roll version doesn't count. I know an eye roll when I see one.
- They called the brisket 'a little dry.' It was not dry. Number of times I refilled their water after that:
- Did they ask one question about my life before looking at their phone? I had a whole year. Apparently nothing happened to me.
- Their partner was 'busy' again? I also had plans once. Then I had them.
- Did they take the leftovers and return the container, or has my Tupperware entered witness protection?
- One documented moment of nachas. Screenshot required. 'Doing fine' is not documentation.
Additional comments (she will have some)
Grading
9-10 checked: Suspicious. What are you after? Name it and I'll consider it.
5-8 checked: Acceptable. I've seen worse at other people's tables.
0-4 checked: I'm not angry. I'm just saying it out loud, for the record.
Grade accordingly. Shana Tova.
Ask Your Jewish Mother ยท jewishmother.app
How it works: download the form, print it on a regular sheet of paper, hand it over with a pen. Fill in nothing yourself. She'll notice.